OK, so second blog post came quicker than expected (and will contain more cursing). I was recently introduced to The Matt Walsh Blog (27 year old, tattooed, ex-DJ Christian) from a random link on Facebook (about a different post of his). While checking out his blog, I came across this post about the horrors of people not returning their shopping carts to the cart corral. First off, IMHO, Matt Walsh is a douchebag of the highest order. He made up an entire blog post (different one, can be found here) pretending to be responding to imaginary criticism of his donate link in order to promote his donate link. Then, he wrote the post I linked above. The comments on that blog post (as well as the blog post itself) were abhorrent. This is a Christian blog and this guy’s biggest problem with the world is people leaving their shopping carts in the parking lot without putting them back in a corral. Dude, if your biggest problem in life is someone else’s shopping cart touching your car, you should immediately get down on your knees and, with tears of joy in your eyes, thank your God for giving you such a blessed life.
I imagine some of the people who leave their shopping carts out in the parking lot are elderly people. Or mothers with children in tow. Or a single dude on crutches from a broken ankle who’s just trying to feed himself. Get over yourself. If the state of the parking lot at your local grocery store is in such disarray, maybe, just maybe, you might, I don’t know, act like the FUCKING CHRISTIAN YOU PROCLAIM TO BE and return someone else’s shopping cart to the corral for them.
First world problems, I tell you. One guy who commented on that post actually said that he throws rocks at the cars of people who leave their carts in the lot. YOU THROW FUCKING ROCKS AT PEOPLE’S CARS?!?!?! If I was in a situation where I was unable to return my cart to the corral and you THREW A FUCKING ROCK AT MY CAR, you can damn sure bet your ass that I would find a way to kick the ever loving shit out of you, you no good, rotten, fucking punk. If an obviously able-bodied person with no children leaves his cart in the lot and doesn’t put it back, sure, I might mutter something like “what an asshole”. If, however, I saw a single woman with children not put her cart back in the corral, I would GET OUT OF MY FUCKING CAR AND PUT IT BACK FOR HER. I’m not a Christian and I get that the only way of getting to heaven is through Jesus Christ and not by being a decent fucking human being, but fuck me. Is this the world we now inhabit? First world Christians with first world “problems” bitching about shopping carts in a parking lot? Get the fuck over yourself and actually do something decent for the good of humanity rather than blogging about irrelevant crap that doesn’t warrant, in the worst case, anything more than a muttered “asshole” while you’re driving away. Jesus Tittyfucking Christ, this cannot possibly be how you imagined your followers would act. If anyone happens to know Matt Walsh or what part of the country he lives in, please do me a huge favor and leave your shopping cart right behind his car. If you can find enough carts to block his car completely in, that would be grand. Asshole douchebags like him piss me off to no end. Particularly when they walk around with a holier than thou attitude and denigrate people in the name of trying to “help” humanity learn the terrible lesson of the stray shopping cart.
Thanks for reading,
The Atheist IT Guy